2019 has seen me through a lot of dilemmas and it’s perhaps a good time now to succumb to the realization that I’m bound to be a chronically broke person in life. How much I make may not have had much effect on me if it didn’t come with the gut-wrenching realization that I’m about to say No to another pre-planned trip. If you dream of traveling the world, and are always penniless or permission-less, you know what I’m talking about. I’ve had to start my year by refusing the biggest trip that was remotely possible in my imagination, and it looks like I’m about to end the year on similar lines.
How does it feel you ask?
It’s akin to an ache that you never knew existed! It begins discretely, like your regular mosquito bite – you acknowledge it, and you ignore. Only, it doesn’t like being ignored, and slowly, it grows into a scab that threatens to disturb your very peace of mind.
I may be able to bid adieu to a future trip well into the initial stages of planning it, oh wait. I don’t think its counted as planning if all you had to do was say yes and get on. The irony isn’t in bidding adieu. Goodbyes are pretty easy for me if I haven’t gotten attached to you, and chances are that unless you’re Katy Perry or Enrique Iglesias, what I’m doing tonight in my skin-tight jeans is really none of your business.
What I fear for is basically this: that journey which began without me, well, it threatens to suddenly develop into a one-track film reminiscent of a one-sided love affair, which doesn’t want to let go of me! And that’s where it all goes wrong.
If you are a well wisher and have any love to spare, Oh Hogwash – I don’t believe it myself. Well, My Birthday has just come and gone, so do me a favor and wish me a future when I never have to say No to a trip. And I’ll wish the same for you! Deal?
So yes. You grew up mostly alone, but dreaming big of the day when you’d have close friends to cherish your favorite areas with you. Well, friends came and went and you were hit with a big realization – if they connected with you at all, then something wasn’t right – forces wouldn’t let you be close to them at all. So there, the option of lounging about by the lakeside and gossiping your way on the street side were passe. They would always be states away from you and you just had to make peace with that.
Hell, you still had hope. You thought your prince charming would be the one to while away time with sweet nothings outside your favorite library, or help you pick up the latest releases at the crossword outside the old mall. No illusions there, your prince could be charming but getting him into the threshold of anything that doesn’t scream Videos is an impossible task altogether, and so you strike that off the list as well.
So what do you finally have is the question i.e if you have anything at all. Well apparently you have a promising better half who in the attempt to live in the same city as you chose to reside with the aces of his heart in a location as far from you, as Bangalore would allow. People can often go – Aww. He moved cities for you. Isn’t that the sweetest? I beg to differ.
If he moved cities for you, that’s great. But has he moved homes for you? That’s the real deal breaker cause if you’re new to the Bangalore real estate market, you’d be aware of some base facts. If you’re not residing within 5 km of each other, congratulations, you belong to the elite group of same city, long distance relationship dwellers. The rules are the same as any, whether you’re in Canada or Greece, you only meet once a blue moon, fight the rest, and keep hoping to press the fast forward or rewind button on life’s remote.
So am I among the elitist or am I the commoner? If you haven’t already guessed, perhaps you ought to stop following me already!