In the last half an hour, I have shut down my laptop thrice. I cannot sleep or study. I feel like I’m in limbo. Waiting in slow motion for the morning rays of the sun to stubbornly wake me from the shallow drowsiness that I hope will overtake my stressed mind and force me to rest.
In effect, it isn’t the technical period for a siesta because those are usually undertaken in the afternoons. I cannot sleep then for it is way too hot and the air is still, conditions of the weather have not changed drastically yet it is comparatively cooler outside.
The campus, my home for the last ten months, is nearly empty. There are a few students like me who will finish within the next week and leave for their respective internships. We will be back with an assumed halo (that’s what the teachers liked to call our seniors once they had returned from their internships).
At this stage in life, I suddenly feel more determined with some things and my attitude to things has been changing, in a positive manner. Things I never thought I’d want, perhaps now I’m ‘negotiable’ on those terms and conditions. I sit on the sill of my window. Fear not, it has space enough to accommodate me and it looks out into a balcony. I will not suffer a majestic fall, not even a minor one for that matter. I am caught in the threshold of a promising atmosphere. On m right, I can feel the cool breeze of the night lend a soothing touch and it beckons me outward. On the left, the warm, stale, circulating air of the fan drives me insane. The choice is obvious except that the presence of blood-sucking carnivores make me shy away from building my fort out in the balcony. I’ll just sit on this threshold until I get hungry and much on something considerably tasty and wait for sleep to spread its tentacles out at me and lure me into oblivion for a brief respite.