I’m in the throes of a morbid day. And I feel trapped by the drudgery of it all.
It all started with an innocuous enough car pool. There was light conversation and banter but it was just me and this much older person. Mister wanted to know if I’m married and when I didn’t reply in the affirmative he thought it his duty to enlighten me about the vagaries of marital life right into the bedroom. Suffice to say I know that sir seems extremely unhappy with his married life and is currently contemplating a shift to the dream nation, The USA courtesy of his wife’s imminent promotion. Disguised as advice was also a story of his fling with a South Indian girl, which would have translated into marriage but didn’t due to unforseen circumstances. He also thought it opportune to tell me that a career isn’t everything and that one needs to live life’s moments. (And Sir believes that a foreign trip with his wife and two kids is a pretty great way to enjoy these moments, in the same breath that he talked about our nation needing to cool down on the taboo that is sex, which isn’t just fpr procreation!)
After I got off the vehicle, too dazed with this incredulous start to the morning, I reach my office and grab a hot steaming bowl of noodles and coffee. As I read the daily prophet, I’m engulfed by more ghastly news. An unemployed alcoholic doused his wife and kids in flames, because he was admonished to get a job. His wife escaped with massive burns but neighbours recount the tragic scene of pain as his 23year of daughter and teenage son lay trapped inside and hugged each other in pain, as they were charred alive. The photo of their smiling pretty faces still haunts me. Yes, the man himself maybe dead but he left another elder son and his wife alive to bear the brunt of all his wrong doings and my heart goes out to them.
I also read an article titled Jolly in Jail, about this Kerala woman who had murdered six members of her family in cold blood. And who has shown no remorse despite being in custody, And is only worried about whether her detention has affected the studies of her children. Is she for real?
Do you ever think thoughts about how it would be easier if someone was dead? Do you feel guilty? Or do you feel like it’s just the most pragmatic end to a problem? If something bothers your peace of mind, and the latter isn’t an emotional state, then do you justify a murder? It’s really not hard for someone to get onto this line if thinking if you feel so strongly.
Jolly claimed to have committed the acts for property. Motivations can vary. Its definitely forbidden but what about intentions?
If you think it’s about right versus wrong, is it right to even have evil intentions if all you ever do is hope for evil? Because God forbid, I have a lot of days when I feel like some oeiooe really need to be off, to lighten this load that’s an overheating oven.
It’s guilt inducing and horrible.
But it is what it is, isn’t it?